Tonys Talk: Robin de Jesus Looks Back on THE BOYS IN THE BAND

Welcome to Backstage with Richard Ridge. I'm in the Tony Awards suite at Sofitel NYC

which is the official hotel to the 2019 Tony Awards, and I'm sitting with one of this season's

best featured actor in a play nominees for his standout performance as Emery in The Boys in the

Band. Please welcome Robin DeJesus. Thank you so much for dropping by today. My absolute pleasure

How are you? I'm well. It's like a really crazy, exciting time period

And I feel like I'm constantly just surrounded by energy. And I have to take moments, take deep breaths, and relax myself

and make myself a person again, because I'm just constantly extra. Okay, when you found out that you were nominated for this

what went through your mind? Relief. Relief. Relief because a couple days prior to it, I had this intuition

And I felt it rumble in my gut. And I thought, oh, I think I'm going to get nominated

And then it was like, I know I'm going to be. And then I was like, I can't share that with anyone because that's narcissistic

But then I did with a couple people who were like really, really good friends who know me and love me and wouldn't judge me for saying that

I was like, I think I feel this thing. And then that morning, you know, doubt kicks in and you're like, maybe I'm crazy

Maybe I don't know what gut is. Maybe I'm just a fool. And so when it happened, it was like initial relief, release

and then I was just I've been emotional sort of since then

in a really different weird, I don't know if it's adulthood or what but like I'm

I'm very very grateful. Yeah. In a way that normally takes practice for me to be that

grateful. It just happens very naturally. It's so well deserved. Thank you. But like I said this was a while

ago but this production took this town by storm. I mean you know I lived at your theater. We saw it so

many times yeah i mean just what did you enjoy the most about working on the boys in the band

working yeah uh working was what i loved the most i'm i'm over the last few years i've developed

more and more neuroses and i think that this show was the was the first challenge that allowed me to

face that neuroses head on in a really really vulnerable scary way especially because i couldn't

help get out of my head how high the stakes were with the men that were around me and with the

opportunity that I was being given and with the role that was in front of me because when you read

the play at least for me I look at Emory and I'm like there is so much there there's so much meat

um and there was never a lack of resources so I felt like anything that could possibly go wrong

with Emory would be my fault it was a choice and so my ego just kind of kicked in more and more

And then what ended up happening was I was just observing everyone around me in the room and how how they worked and how they enjoyed the process

And I realized that I was not enjoying the process. And so so once I was able to sort of face that, you know, get rid of the thoughts of like what this could do to me and just get in the room, just be really, really present, which is usually what I'm really good at as an actor

I feel like I'm always I'm here with people. I was not that in that moment

So so that I forgot what the question was already. you spooked yourself

seriously that's what we call those voices come forward but you were like

then you got in that rehearsal room with everybody and you realize

everybody is there because they want to be there and they want to do the work

I like that term I spooked myself you spooked yourself thank you but it went away

really fast no but it did go away but it went away before

performances yeah but it's a big deal alright just talking what kind of conversations did you have with

Mark Crowley, who of course wrote Boys in the Band, and Joe Mantello. What were those conversations like

I actually, believe it or not, I'm a big personality, but sometimes in the room I can get shy

I work in extremes, I'm either like, ah, or shy. And with Mark, I didn't know that it was okay

for me to reach out to him. And so he came to rehearsals, and he was present

especially right before previews started. And I knew Michael Benjamin Washington had written him

I knew a couple other people had. And he wrote Michael Benjamin this really, really beautiful email

that really cooed him in a way. And I was like, I want that

And then I don't know what happened. At one point, I finally emailed him. And he goes, I've been waiting

He goes, every other person has emailed me but you. And he was like, I've just been waiting for you

And then he gave me a really, really great email. And it ended up cooing me as well

Was it sort of an insight to what he saw you as Emery or who Emery was or what Like without giving too too much away of the email but what sort of like what about that email helped you on your way with your performance well he I think I think he he he he told me I was

already doing what what he wanted me to do and and and I don't think I was at a

place yet where I was recognizing that what I was doing was on track yeah in my

mind I was going off the rails or I had made a hard left turn and he was like no

No, you're doing what you need to be doing. And that was the big takeaway

And that was actually like that's part of the facing the neuroses is like recognizing what is fact and what is feeling

And I was really caught up in my feelings and not seeing reality because of that

Now, Joe Mantello invited you to the party. Yeah. I mean, so you would work with Joe on Wicked, of course, right

Yeah, I worked with Joe, but I didn't get to work with him one-on-one. Because you were put into the show later

Yeah, yeah. And I got to give Joe mad props because he is the reason that the piece is as good as it is

And Joe has a lot of vision. And Joe has a lot of courage because traditionally you wouldn't have put Puerto Rican Latino kid as Emery

And there wasn't a concern about that, I don't think. It was just like, oh, yeah, Robin

and I find for me often as an actor I'm off to the side

and the roles tend to be not as layered and complex and so I have to make a lot of stuff up that's not there on paper a lot

and with this that wasn't the case and so it's so satisfying and satiating to get a role

where you don't have to be extra maybe that's why I was extra because I'm so used to that

and making up stuff. And actually, I wasn't used to just having everything I need there

So when were you the happiest with your Emery? Ooh. When was I

Or content with him? The quiet performances. Like, that show is really difficult to know when you're in the pocket

when you're in the groove. It doesn't always feel right. It can feel sort of icky

But it's the performances where you're most present and where all you're connected with is this eye contact

eye contact with this person and this person, that those are the moments, the really, really quiet ones

It's never a show where I'm like, oh, my God, that was amazing. No

It's a quiet thing. Yeah. Kendra and Ed. Yeah, exactly. Okay, working with this company of actors, the best of the best

Just favorite moments or memories of working with the guys. Favorite moments of working with the guys

I would say Charlie Carver's birthday was one of the best nights. we went to karaoke uh we went to we did we got one of those rooms in koreatown and matt bomer

bought a bunch of wigs and and like we just lived our lives we it was uninhibited joy in a tiny room

and then afterwards just like just coming out a little tipsy a lot uh and uh and and and that night

was a really it was it was a really nice warm night out with a good breeze and so coming out

It was one of those magical New York moments. And I do remember stepping aside and being like

I just did karaoke with Matt Bomer and Zachary Quinto and Andrew Randles

This is like gay heaven. What did you sing? Did you have a favorite number you did that night

I did Almost Paradise with Andrew Randles at one point. That was really, really fun

I don't even remember what else I did. That's the moment that I remember. But Matt Bomer, I mean, first of all, the man can sing

He can really, really sing. And he did CeeLo's Forget You, Except it wasn't forget you

It was the other lyric. And he also did like a prayer

Yeah. And that was, I wish he could have been there. Because you all became a very tight company

This production of the boys in the band was life changing. As every production was before

It was groundbreaking in the original production. The movie was groundbreaking. Because again, the same cast that opened the show in New York got to do the film version

This new production, not even revival. this new production that you all did, and you were all out gay men, which was very rare to do

I mean, that's a big deal. And now you're all getting to do the film. It is an embarrassment of riches

There were a couple of times where I'd look around and be like, oh, that's right

And I just have little giggles to myself because I would forget because I'd just be so in my stuff

And it actually amazed me and impressed me more and more. Usually it's like the first day of rehearsal, you're like, oh my god

But that wasn't the case for me. It happened later on, which was even more satisfying

And the way our dressing rooms were set up there were three people So there were three dressing rooms per floor But there was a top floor There was a shortage of rooms And so the room upstairs was just one big room the whole floor But it was an it I mean it was used for storage

There was like black curtains everywhere, blocking furniture or whatever. And there was a whole thing about

who wanted to take that room. And like, I think Michael Benjamin checked it

I was like, nah, I'm good. Someone else checked it. I was like, nah, I'm not walking up those flights. And I was like, well, I'm gonna be shirtless

in the play at some point, so I'll use the extra steps. You called it the attic

I called it the attic. I totally called it the attic. And I lived up there

And sometimes, because I had that whole floor to myself, I had less interaction with the guys before the show

But that just allowed me to have some really good quiet time, almost like a meditation

And in those quiet moments, I would have those little waves of gratitude kick in and excitement

and even like right before the show sometimes there were a few of us

it was me, Tuck Watkins, and Andrew Rannells that would be together because we entered the show together

And you could feel buzziness sometimes. It'd be a random day and there'd be like a buzz between us

And it was like, oh, we didn't have that yesterday, but cool. Like what was the last thing you did

before you walked through the door as Emery like at any given performance? Oh, I knocked on wood

I knocked on wood. I had the casserole dish on my hands and we'd walk up the stairs

and then there was a good piece of wood on the outside and I'd knock on it. And I'd get really OCD about it

I was like, I knocked with my right. I gotta knock with the left now. So you'd see me with the casserole dish

just like trying to figure out how to hold it. I wasn't always successful. I never dropped it though

That was my fear was that you'd hear a casserole dish just dropping at the top of the show. Emory drops the casserole dish

It was fine. But I mean, this is a big deal for you too

because we all fell in love with you when you first came to New York. Thank you. We all fell in love with you in musicals

and everything else. Your career has just escalated. and escalated. You got to work on one of the most groundbreaking plays

You know, I mean, have you been able to put all that into perspective? I mean, you took this iconic role of Emery

that we all fell in love with Cliff Gorman doing, of course, in the film

Totally. You know, the torch has been passed to you. You know, I will say this

My existence is very odd. It's very much an anomaly because I may not be that guy

that's constantly on Broadway every single season, but the shows that come up that I've been in

I feel like have always been very fortunate and very touched and so like

you know what Rent meant for me growing up and then what in the Heights

meant for me as a Latino and the representation and the fact that it was so positive and meeting that crew of people that became family

for life, going to do La Cage you know that was the first year

that marriage equality was being brought up in New York and so the show was really really

relevant then for the gay community and also odd because I often found myself

looking at shows that were gay themed and they were all so depressing

and I was like, where are the happy gays? The word literally gave me to happy. And then I was like, oh that's right, I'm doing the kaj

I was like, I forget that that is one of the most joyous gay shows ever. God bless you, Jerry Herman

So that show was really important at that time and even when I replaced him Wicked

that was the first show I could bring my niece to. because she was too young to see all the other shows

So I guess the shows that I've done here in New York, I've always felt really fortunate that they are noble

without me putting that on myself as if I'm trying to be noble. It just was luck

Yeah. And now you're getting ready to film. Yeah. Tell us. So Ryan and Joe had, Ryan Murphy and Joe Mantello, by the way

they are director and producer. They let us know kind of early on that there was an intention to make a movie of this, which that was a doozy and that can mess with your head

Did you spook yourself during that? That was like part of the spook because it was like, don't be the only dude that doesn't get asked back because that would really suck

That would feel icky. But I was able to remove that from my internal monologue most days

But it was also just like so thrilling. And then after the show was done, I think there was a moment, too, where we thought maybe we'll do the show again at some point as a play

And so that was really, really exciting. I thought, oh, the movie's going to take a couple of years. It's going to be a while

But then the rumblings already started from certain people. And I was like, oh, I guess this is a thing

And I even went to L.A. to visit friends of mine that were touring. And someone said, hey, I heard something

And I was like, what? Who told you? Oh, real boy. And yeah it super duper exciting but it was more exciting when I got the phone call that it was official and then the more and more after we finished negotiating I was like no this is really really really happening and I think we all excited I think everyone really thrilled

I think everyone recognizes what a great opportunity is for visibility I think also the fact that we're

fortunate enough to repeat what the original movie did in casting the original company

that was already an anomaly and now for it to be a double anomaly it's kind of

ridiculous but that's Ryan Murphy and that's his vision and that's what he knew he wanted from jump and he follows through

how often do you all text each other or like email the cast um it's it's less frequent

now what was it now actually now it's picking up again because everyone's getting ready for the

move and getting excited yeah but but like weekly we have a combo going on in there and there's like

a whole bunch of gifts that go or like uh you know someone will see someone's instagram account

see something funny and you know message it to the group or whatever and i meet up with michael

Benjamin here and there and Charlie Carver and we like love and adore one another yeah you know

this was like I said life-changing for a lot of people what was it like meeting the fans outside

the stage door and how your performance and the show itself touched people that was really cool

because a lot of the people that came to the stage door were there to see Jim Matt Zach you know and

Andrew and and so to sort of the after that first performance you know they were so excited to see

them but as the summer progressed they began to show me more and more love as well and that was

it was really really sweet i kind of felt like i won them over a little bit and um and that sounds

kind of cocky i don't mean it that way it felt nice yeah it felt super duper nice and they still

like they still follow me on instagram they'll still send me messages they've been congratulating

me like you know i saw the show because of matt but like i'm so proud of you and i hope everything

goes well for you with the show and the movie and it's it's a lot of love it's a lot of love

There's a lot of love on Broadway, isn't there? Well, there always has been. It's just been interesting because for me it's evolving over the years as more and more celebrities have come in

I think there was a period of sort of disorientation as to where the Broadway community was and the people that were from the outside coming in

And there was that capitalism versus argument. Not argument, but just like everything was ironing out

I think over the last couple of years, a lot of directors and producers have found this really happy medium of finding names that fill the seats in, but then combining it with really amazing, really capable actors from Broadway who need to be seen as well

And Joe is amazing about that as well. I'm happy for that

I feel like that's the best place for us to go for everyone to be succeeding. Beautiful

Finally, if you could sum up the best part of the experience of working on Boys in the Band, what was it for you

learning how to take up my space while still sharing it with others

And I'm repeating myself. I've been saying that. But that was the lesson I needed to learn

I need to hear it. I need to learn it. And I need to learn it, really learn it and put it into practice

And I'm still learning that. But I'm so much better than I was before

You know, it was a perfect ensemble. That whole show was a perfect ensemble, the best of the best

doing what you do best. Thank you. It was really great. Anytime there was a day where you didn't feel present or you felt more challenged or whatever, it was really cool to be like, oh, I can just turn this way

And there's this whole new set of eyes that I wasn't looking at

And those would be the resources that I had been looking for. And so every day was so easy to give a different show or to discover a new relationship

So it was incredibly stimulating. And then when you're stimulated like that, it's so much more fun and playful to do the work

And that's the best part. When you're loving the show, you're loving what you're doing, you're loving the people, that's the goal

That's the goal. And to be able to stay there for a few months was such a great gift, and I can't wait to get back in July

Well, it's been so great for me watching, because I knew you from the very beginning

and watch the progression you have had with your career. I've been telling a lot of people this

I mean, you know, you have moved from musicals to being like top notch in these plays, holding your own with the very, very best because you're brilliant at what you do

Thank you. And I want to say something to you, which is 2010 was a year where there was a massive influx of celebrities on Broadway

And going to the luncheon for the Tony nominees was a really weird thing

It was really hard on the press agents for the people from the Broadway community

because a lot of the outlets didn't want to see them. They wanted to see the really, really famous people

And you stayed really hardcore and true to the Broadway community because we were one of the only ones that fought for us

to make sure that we got interviewed as well. So I wholeheartedly appreciate that, and thank you for being ride or die

That means the world to me. I love what you do. You guys make magic eight times a week. No one else can do what you do

Thank you. Here's to Broadway. Yes. I love you