Randy Rainbow (Re)Reads Patti LuPone's Autobiography- Patti Becomes Eva Peron

Sang my first show tune when I was just three

My mother knew I'd go far. I've been a show queen since way before Glee

Now I'm a Broadway star. Well, not exactly, but my friend has a friend who knows Idina Menzel

You know, I mean, sort of. So things are happening, you'll see. But till my ship comes in, I've got a lot to tell her

Let's start chewing the scenery with you. Welcome to chewing the scenery with... me

Turn off your cell phones. Congratulations, my agent said. I started to cry

I wanted to work with Hell Prince. But I did not want to do Evita

On the set of 1941, while I was crying, everyone else was happy for me

When Steven found out that I got the part, he announced it on the set and said to me

I know talent. He was proud that he cast me in the movie and proud that I landed the role of Evita The first day at rehearsal Hal said to me I don want you to smile before I even smiled and I want gnarled hands

Uh-oh, that's 180 degrees from the way I wanted to play her

I knew Evita had to have a sense of humor. She had to have a wink in her eye

or the audience would not be able to come to her, or me playing her

But Hal Prince was my director, so rehearsals went on, and I did what I was told to do

I learned the music, the dances, the scenes, but for the most part it was an out-of-body experience

I began to realize that I didn't know how to sustain the singing of the role

I was scared shitless. One bright spot, however, was the fact that another Juilliard alum, Mandy Patinkin, was cast as Che

At the beginning of rehearsal, I was plagued with people telling me things that Elaine Page, the original London Evita, did in the part

The producers brought three dancers over from the London production and they'd say

Patty, right here, Elaine would do this. Here where Elaine did this Elaine would do this Here where Elaine did this Elaine would do this Elaine would do this Here where Elaine did this Elaine would do this Here where Elaine did this Elaine would do this I was polite for about two days

Then a Broadway reputation was born. Shut up, I said. I don't want to hear another word about Elaine's performance

If you tell me what she did, then I don't have a chance to discover it for myself

I'm an actor. I'll figure it out. Well, that made me real popular with the kids in the chorus

I couldn't deal with that. I had no time. But I did, unfortunately, have to deal with the alternate Ava

who played the Wednesday and Saturday matinees. She was nipping at my heels, praying for me to fail or fall so she could have my part

It was a real life all about Ava. As I recall the day after we completed our New York rehearsals we flew to L and went straight to a zitz probe The company first sing with the orchestra at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion Yes I was back at the Dorothy Chandler scene of my last crime The Baker Wife

There were no microphones for the singers in the rehearsal room, and I remember Ruthie Mitchell, Hal's assistant, motioning to me from across the room to go easy with my voice

But it was so exciting. I was singing with the orchestra for the first time

In my ignorance, I ended up singing over both the orchestra and the chorus

By the end of the night, after a flight, a zitz probe, and a rehearsal on stage where more singing was required, I had lost my voice

There was nothing. No sound. Nothing. The next day, I was sent to Dr. Hans von Leiden, L.A.'s preeminent throat doctor, who said to me

Your vocal cords look like raw hamburger meat. You cannot speak for the next five days

It was five days till opening night. I was freaking out