BWW Flashback: Randy Rainbow (Re)Reads Patti LuPone's Autobiography- Patti's Flight Is Delayed! Will She Make Her Curtain?

sang my first show tune when I was just three

My mother knew I'd go far. I've been a show queen since way before Glee

Now I'm a Broadway start. Not exactly, but my friend has a friend who knows Edina Menzel

You know, I mean, sort of. So things are happening, you'll see. But till my ship comes in, I've got a lot to tell you, let's start chewing the scenery with

Welcome to chewing the scenery with me. Turn off your cell phones

Previously on Randy Rainbow Lipson's Patty Lippon's autobiography. Hello, Tina speaking. Tina, it's Patty

I'm on the plane, but I'm going to be late. Call really useful

And find out if they'll hold the curtain, or should I just go home

Can I call you back? She asked. No, you can't call me back

At that point, Captain Henderson swung around in his captain's chair and bellowed

The audience did not pay to see the understudy They paid to see you Now get some rest We get you there No worries And now the continuation of Randy Rainbow Lipsing Patty Lippon autobiography

I went back to my seat, fell asleep again, and woke up to another little note on my tray table

This one said, they'll hold the curtain. Now, come on, if I stunk in the part, would they bother to hold the curtain

That's my question. Anyway, we were close to landing. I found the flight attendant and said

I have to vocalize. I have to vocalize

I have to get ready for the show. Well, you can use the galley, she said

The Concord was really loud, tiny but loud. The passenger's turning around and looking in my direction, wondering what was going on

I was hidden behind a little curtain but they could still hear me doing my scales and warm They bringing his head on a silver tray She gets his mouth She gets his mouth She gets his mom She gets his mom

I don't think I sold any tickets based on that performance. When we landed, I was rushed off the plane first

A British Airway Special Agent met me and whisked me through customs and immigration

We hit the floor running and I ran and ran and ran through a very long terminal

I jumped in the waiting car, hoping the traffic would be light

It was now 715, 720, 7.30. I was still vocalizing in the poor driver's ear

Silent music starts to play. By the time we turned left into Maiden Lane, I could see Richard Oriol holding the stage door open looking down the lane

We screeched to a halt. It was 20 minutes to 8. I raced up to my dressing room

Stage management continued making the calls over the tannoy 20 10 beginners please It was now 8 p All the while I was chattering up a storm at my dressing room table

While Caroline Clements was pinning my hair, I was putting on my makeup, and Murray Lane was dressing me as best he could

The stage manager called to check in. How much longer will you be, Patty, she asked

I'll be ready and... I'm ready, I said. I was costumed, wigged

and the makeup was all. on my face. I have no idea how, but I'd done it all in 18 minutes. Eventually, Captain Henderson

of the Concord and his wife came to see the show. When we talked afterward, he told me that he'd

used every bit of aviation lingo short of May Day to get priority clearance for landing that day

That experience was such a welcomed diversion. It provided laughs in my otherwise tense existence