Amanda Kloots Visits Backstage LIVE- Watch Now!

Welcome to Backstage with Richard Ridge. In March of 2020, one of Broadway's most beloved stars, Nick Cordero, was hospitalized for what he and his wife, Amanda Kloots, believed to be a severe case of pneumonia

It turned out to be COVID-19. He was placed on a ventilator, and after a grueling 95 days in the ICU, Nick passed away

Amanda took to documenting their journey on social media, showing the dangers COVID-19 posed to everyone, regardless of age

Her updates captivated millions, inspiring people around the globe to dance each day to Nick's song, Live Your Life, and offer positive thoughts and prayers for Nick, Amanda, and their son, Elvis

Well, now Amanda, along with her sister, Anna Kloots, has written the book, Live Your Life

which is a love letter to Nick and a reminder that sometimes celebrating life today is the only path through tomorrow's darkness

Please say hello to my friend, Amanda Kloots. Hello. Hi, Richard. Nice to be here with you today

I'll tell you, the book is right behind me. I loved this book

You know I have known you and Nick forever. I got choked up during that intro

So it's just, I don't even know where to begin, but it is great to be catching up with you

First of all, how are you and where are you? I am at my dressing room at the talk

We just finished filming for today. So I have a little bit of a break

And I love doing calls from my dressing room because Elvis isn't running around and, you know, distracting me

I love your dressing room. I love the photos you have behind you

Yeah. Yeah, we got Nick and we got Elvis and then Elvis and I and my siblings are over here

And yeah, I try to keep pictures of him everywhere. Well, I'll tell you, the book is right behind me

I read the book in one seating. I started early in the morning and ended at night because I could not put it down

It's such a beautiful homage to Nick, to what you went through as a family and everything else with you and your sister

It's such a stunning book. Live Your Life, My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero. What I want to ask you first, Amanda, is when did you decide to sit down and write the book

Well, first of all, thank you so much, because, you know, that is a huge compliment to me when when you say you've read the book in one sitting, you couldn't put it down

because honestly, the story of this and those 95 days felt like that

It felt like a never ending day and, and, and, and much like a groundhog's day too

So it makes me feel like you in reading it that way, it's like you were on the ride with

us, you know, you were on that rollercoaster ride of, of, of Nick's ICU stay

And, you know, I, I started writing this two weeks after Nick passed, I went to Ohio with

my mom and dad just to kind of get some peace and quiet and I would put Elvis to bed and I just

started writing and I needed I honestly just needed to get things out of my head there were so

many medical terms and doctor's names and dates and events that happened and everything that

happened to Nick you know when it happened it was so crucial I knew to the story and um and I also

knew that we had five months to write this book so it was kind of like well time is now to start

writing. So how did it originally come about? Did HarperCollins come to you? I mean, it's such a

you know, what this book has done, it's put a face on the damage of COVID-19, what it has done to

someone, what it has done to a family, because there were so many people who thought this whole

COVID-19 was a hoax and not wanting to be vaccinated and everything else. And I was just

wondering how the book came about for you to write in the first place. Yeah, so I got an email from

Lisa Sharkey at Hopper Collins. Lisa had taken my fitness classes in New York and is a good friend

of a best friend of mine. And she reached out to me and said, I am one of the people that is singing

and dancing every day with you at 3 p.m. I'm consistently refreshing my Instagram feed in

hopes that you've given any more info. I'm following this story and I'm praying for you

guys every day. You need to write this down. This is an incredible story. At that point, it was

beginning of June. And she said to me, she goes, I don't even care how it ends. I want you to start

writing this story. It needs to be documented. And I'm so grateful for her because, again, I was

I remember leaving the hospital and talking to her on the phone and just being in such a fog

And I'm so glad she kind of championed me to do this and with Anna because now I have this kind of living legacy for Nick and for Elvis, especially to read one day

And also just for me, you know, we go through life and you think you're going to remember things

And as time goes on, you don't. And so I feel so grateful that I have all of this written down

Because so much happened to you as a family. I mean, you got married, you had Elvis. I mean, then there was the decision to move to Laurel

Laurel Canyon in California and, you know, uprooting everything from New York. I mean

your business, you know, you know, Nick thinking, you know, like movies and TV

which everybody does. I mean, you know, like, let's try the other coast. I mean, there was so much going on. And then this hit, you know, all at the same time. So

you know, how did you and your sister go about writing the book? I mean, who's like

did you work on iPads? Like how did you actually write it together? Yeah. Well, it was a learning curve because neither of us had ever written a book before

but luckily because she was in Paris and I was in California, I would write when I put Elvis to bed

and, um, you know, I would, I would do as much as I possibly could. And I would send her an email

you know, saying what I did that night and she'd be waking up in Paris and she would say

sister, I worked all day yesterday. I'll look over everything you did and I'll send it back to you

So it was crazy because we were kind of working on the book in a full 24-hour circle. And when we

got the offer to do this, I was thinking, Anna, you have to be in California with me. You can't

go back to Paris. We have to do this together. And it luckily, I think, just worked out in the

best way because we were able to kind of do our own thing, send it off to another. That person

would edit it, fix it, change it, and then send it back to the other person. I love that. So it's

like you worked for a day when the lights are on and then you went to bed and then, you know

the sun was coming up in Paris and she wrote, how long did it take you to complete? We started in

July and we finished right before Christmas. So I think in total it was around six months, which

I didn't know this again, because, you know, when you're green to something, you don't know. But

And I knew just from being a writer. And she said, no one writes a book in six months, especially your first book

She was like, Amanda, you usually get a year. So we worked pretty fast

But I have to say, I think it was in our favor for a couple of reasons

Not only was it extremely therapeutic and cathartic for me to just write it down

Same for Anna because she was with me and very much a part of everything that happened But also if you asked me to write this book now I wouldn be able to do it Richard There is so much detail in this book that was in the front of my brain

I mean, I knew you could I could have joined the medical staff at Cedars-Sinai, I thought, you know, when this was over

That's how in it I was. So, you know, kind of like leaving a Broadway show the week after you could still do the show

but give yourself six months and you're like, wait, it started with the tap dance? What

You know, like, um, so it was, I'm so grateful that we did it this, this quickly. And, um

and, and, and now it's here. You know, it's interesting that you say that you needed to

get this out of your head anyway. And like you said, it's like learning a show or something else

It's all there. You can put it down very fast and then you forget some of it. Like the fine detail

I'm sure has disappeared. Yeah. Yeah. It's so true. It's so crazy. And I talk about this a lot

in the book, but in writing the book, I came across so many parallels about my Broadway life

And then this life of, you know, living here in the ICU and the rollercoaster ride that it was

the highs and the lows, the, you know, different personalities, the different doctors and how they

all work together. How Nick's room became kind of like a dressing room. And it was like my second

home as a dressing room does when on a Broadway stage. You know, oftentimes people ask me, you

know, how did you do this every day? How did you get out of bed? And I was like, you don't understand

16 years of my life was going to Broadway auditions and being told no, no, no, no, thank you. And so

But the next day you come back with a smile on your face, your hair down in your heels and your hand ready to dance again

And it's so crazy to me. But in writing this, I was like, oh, my gosh

It just really was such a parallel. So I was going to ask you, how did you find the emotional strength again to write the book

Because you had just lived all of this. And I'm sure it was the most painful thing you've ever gone through

So how were you able to bring that emotional strength to put this all down

Or was it like, I have to get this down and we're going to do this? Yeah, I think because it was honestly probably the hardest that and then doing the audio book, because it's one thing to write it

But then it's one thing to verbalize it or vocalize it. I mean, and, you know, and you want to do a good job

Right. Because, well, especially, you know, being a Broadway actor, you want to do a good job

Um, so it was very, very hard. And there were nights where I couldn't even see the keyboard

because I was crying so hard. And I think you're right though, is that it's, it just comes from

that place again of being who I used to be that you just, you do it, you power through. It's like

doing lame is every night you do it. You know, it's like you go to that emotional place. You're

able to persevere somehow and you wake up the next morning and you do it all again

Because that was my next question was the audio book. I can only imagine how long it took you to

get through that. I mean, writing it was one thing, but then having to act it like live your life all

again. I mean, that must have just been devastating to like sit. Where did you record it all? When

did you do it? How long did it take you to make the audio? Well, luckily it was just right across

the street from the CBS studio lot. They made that easy for me. But unluckily, it literally

started the day that I took Nick to the emergency room. So that juxtaposition, first of all

sitting in the room, reading the day, reading the story for the first time from the book

but literally matching up to the day that I dropped Nick off at Cedars-Sinai was insane

And I thought I was really strong. And I ended up being, I think, strong

But I thought, you know, okay, I can do this. And the minute he said, you know, we're rolling, and I just had to read the privacy

Some names have been changed for privacy. I was like, some names have been, and I just broke down

And the director goes, okay, okay, take a minute. And I said, you know, wow, I really thought I'd get further than that

I really did. but I'm sure it was just cathartic to get that first cry out like I said I got emotional during

the the intro it's like all these emotions just come up but I'm sure for you you know doing the

audiobook was just you know I know that your brother and sister stayed with you all during

this and your son Elvis I mean during Nick's time in the hospital how comforting was that for you

to have your brother and your sister there oh it was it was the best I don't know what I would

have done without them. You know, my brother and my sisters are my best friends. And Todd and Anna

were the only two that could literally run to my aid. And they did. And we formed this beautiful

bond on top of a beautiful bond we already had. And it was just it was crazy. It was these three

adults that obviously love each other, but in an unspoken language, just kind of took care of one

another. And it's crazy. I say to Anna all the time, gosh, you know, Annie, we went through the

worst time, like literally the worst days. Yet so many times I look back on that and I think like

gosh, I wish I could go back in time and relive some of those days because when will that ever

happen again? You know, when will we ever just get to live together as three siblings adults and

kind of just, you know, get to be like kids again in a way. Yeah. You also found the humor in that

because you have that beautiful poster that this mock poster, I think your brother made, right

Which was based on three men and a baby, right? Yeah. Three men and a little lady. So yeah, we

we, uh, no, three men and a baby. You're right. Um, yeah, three men and a baby. We had a really

good time. And, uh, and then ironically enough, one of my first weeks here at the talk, Tom Selleck

was a guest and I got to embarrass myself and show him that, you know, during quarantine

we had a really good time, but he knew of Nick, of course, because Nick did Blue Bloods and

that cast is so beautiful and such a family. So it was kind of a really kind of full circle

beautiful moment. Because I love that I'm like you, I love to find signs through my life

like someone offering you signs. And that was the, really the great positive and, you know

the negative, the sadness of the book. There was also the positive spin of saying there were always

signs for you through all of this. And you've always believed in that, haven't you

Oh, always. I remember wanting to be in 42nd Street on Broadway and I was at school. I was

going to AMDA at the time and I had seen the Broadway version 10 times front row student

tickets. And I was finding dimes everywhere. I just found dimes everywhere. And I was like

this is a sign because in the show you dance on a dime. I was like, I'm going to be in this show one day

And then lo and behold, two days before I graduated, I booked the national tour, 42nd street, Broadway revival

And I was dancing on a dime. I do. I love signs. I have no shame in seeing them, finding them and holding on to them

Yeah You know during the pandemic Nick story put a face on this awful coronavirus and the damage it did not just to Nick but to others who lost loved ones during this virus You know

do you realize how many people you have helped by telling them your story

what you went through as a family? Oh, well, that's so sweet. Honestly, I mean

you know, it means the world to me when I hear that. And when I hear people, you know

when people come up to me and they tell me that, or they DM me and they tell me that, I mean

And, you know, you go through this situation and you're just I was just telling the honest truth every day

And I was just, you know, just trying to help, you know, the world understand that this can affect a 41 year old perfectly healthy man and that he didn't have any symptoms of COVID

And here he is now in the ICU fighting for his life. So, you know, I really do. I feel honored that anyone was inspired by me sharing what I did

I mean, you know, it does mean the world to me. Because I was going to say, you know, they will get into the whole Instagram and the social thing, which you help people to

But now you have this book, which I think is so wonderful that people can read that lost people during this and have a similar story to what you dealt with and how you got through it, how you work through it

Because I was going to ask you, how did God and your faith play into what you were going through then and how that plays into your life now

Yeah, I mean, you know, through the darkest times of my life, because I've, you know, had a lot, I've not had a beautiful, perfect life. I always kind of just root myself right back into that faith. I was lucky enough to grow up in the church with a, you know, a great kind of church atmosphere was never pushed on me. It was always just about love and being together and, and believing that, you know, kind of God has your back

And so when I feel like I need help, I run to that

And it was it was a it was such a tremendous help. I mean, when the doctors at the ICU, you know, top of their game are looking at you going, he's got an hour

There's nothing else medically we can do. Nothing. There's nothing. You know, you have an hour with your husband and then you pray over that man and he lives and not only lives

but start smiling and looking up, down, left and right a day later, you know, I don't know

I mean, I felt very, very, very close to God at those moments. And yes, I, I questioned every

single day, you know, I, I got mad and I would question God too. And that's a part of what my

I believe in as well, that it's okay to question and it's okay to challenge and, and wonder. Um

But no, I feel stronger even now. I really do. I know that he was with us

I know I could just tell that God had Nick in his arms

I really do believe that. And how God and faith plays into your life now with raising Elvis and just the way you look at life

Yeah, I mean, for sure. It's the first thing I do in the morning

It's the first thing I do when I go to sleep, when I'm going to sleep

I thank God for my blessings. And I sincerely do feel so grateful for everything I have in life

And I still have in life. You know, I mean, it's it's such a huge part of me

Yeah. You know, during these 95 days that Nick was in the hospital, you had millions of people around the world tune into your daily, you know, tune in on what was going on in your life

And I'm sure, you know, you were just telling your friends out there who you knew in the business like me, all of us who were connected to you, whatever

You know, and it gave you a chance to let everybody know. But then millions of people started following this story, you know, and I just

Yeah, it was. Wait, you know, when you were searching for guidance, I mean, how did those daily posts get you through that time

It was a lifeline. It was like another right arm. I'm not kidding you

You know, I and I trust me, my family, my close friends were like, Amanda, this is too much

It's too much for you right now. Stop doing this. You have enough going on

But what they didn't understand, and I think they understand now is that it that social media army was a lifeline

It was a call to prayer. It was energy every day to me at 3 p.m

when I would get on live and I could barely stand up or wipe my eyes from the snot and tears

But it was like after those three minutes of singing live your life, I was in a completely different mood

It was it was the medical advice, the the oh, my gosh, I know a doctor

Call this guy. He's in Israel. Call this woman. She's in Tennessee. I mean, it was crazy. And it would happen within within seconds

There's a Broadway set designer that was had COVID that was very similar to Nick's conditions

I found out about him through social media within five minutes. I'm not kidding you

I had him on the phone. I mean, you know, you can say all you want, but it was literally a huge, huge part and impacted my life in such a great way

Well, that's what we have to get to the next part of your social media when at three o'clock, everybody around the world dance to live your life

I mean, the Hope family in New Jersey, who we all know. I mean, they all fell in love with Nick and you out at Paper Mill or whatever else

But everybody, stars and just people you didn't even know, everybody came on at three o'clock, you know, singing and dancing to Nick's song

I mean, that must have just been so wonderful for you. It was incredible. Yeah, it was

It was incredible. And, you know, I would go to the hospital and I would show Nick, too

He saw it. I mean, it literally was crazy, though, from Moscow to, you know, Indonesia to Tennessee again to Boston

I mean, it was insane. And it never lost on me, you know

I mean, from families to dogs to babies to 90-year-old men in the nursing home

I think, though, it was like this beautiful moment in time, to be honest, where everybody was stuck at home

We didn't have plans. You didn't have anything to do. So when I said, you have a plan now

At 3 p.m., you're going to do this. people were like, we are putting it in the calendar. It just was like, thank God we have

something to do. And it made you happy. You know, singing and dancing makes you happy

It soothes the heart. It soothes the soul. And everybody felt like they were giving something

back to Nick and to you and to Elvis of saying, I can't do much, but I can do this. And it's through

his incredible song. I mean, you know, his music is now living on. I mean, this has to be an amazing

thing because, you know, you know, Nick was an actor and then he was like, I want to be a musician too. You know, you're also very hard on yourself in this book too. You know, you said earlier

you know, that you didn't have a perfect life. No one has a perfect life, but you know, everybody

dreams of having a perfect life. But you know, you were also really honest about so many other

things in the book, which I give you a lot of praise for. I mean, how were you able to do that

and put that down in the book? Oh, well, I mean, you know, when I shared this story, it was all

about just, you know, raw honesty. So I couldn't very well write this book and not go there

you know And I really wanted I wanted this story to be even more honest because there were a lot of things I couldn share at the time And you know when I when we decided to write this book I said you know I want this to be the honest story so that people know what was actually happening behind the scenes

You think, you know, you think, you know, this story, read the book, you'll know the real story

And the struggles it is to be a young couple in New York City

The struggles it is to be actors, a couple in New York City that are both Broadway actors

The struggles to want to move somewhere, to be completely two different people, to want to start a family, to be an entrepreneur, to have a dream at 41 of being a rock star

I mean, I had to be honest. There's no sugarcoating any of that

Life isn't easy. yeah I just thank you for doing that part of it thank you for adding that in because

every couple goes through that everybody does you know and you were just so honest to add all of that

to sort of complete the story Laurel Canyon has become such a wonderful part of your life now

and it was from the very first day you got there talk about life in Laurel Canyon I know that's

where Nick wanted to move right away when he got there it's like these are my people there was just

energy there and another sign you all got when you were out there too. Just talk about how

wonderful life is out there now and the community that came together for you and your family during

this. Yes. I mean, yes. All of our friends live in Laurel Canyon. And so, you know, it made sense

to want to move there. And when we found a home there and even just living with our good friend

Zach Braff, for the first eight months. And that's where, you know, we lived during everything that

happened with Nick. It is a special place, I have to say. I mean, it's a place where your neighbors

bring you vegan muffins, and they're on a skateboard with a pole, and they're bringing

you vegan muffins, to, you know, what happened with the music, the canyon and the music nights

and the community choir that was started. It is, it's about community. It's about your neighbors

It's about, oh gosh, I didn't lock my door. Can you go over and lock it for me? It's funny too

Because a lot of people that were born and raised in California that I've talked to since writing this book are like, I did not know Laurel Kenyon was like that

I've been searching for real estate now in Laurel Kenyon since reading your book. And it doesn't exist

Yeah. I mean, it's, oh, gosh. And Nick would have just been so proud

He just would have been so proud of his community to see what they were doing

It honestly killed me when I would go to these community choir nights and be singing Our House and Lean on Me and You've Got a Friend and just knowing that Nick would have just been like, this is why I wanted to move to Laurel Canyon

It is a special, special place. It continues to be today. I feel so lucky to live there

Because it's that beautiful picture of the three of you in front of that mural. Yes, yes, at the Canyon Photo Day, which is another, you know, the story's in the book, but yes, it's an annual day at the Canyon Country Store, which is legendary in its own

And we shouted, you know, we are Laurel Canyon three times as you take a picture for the country store photo

And I knew right then and there, I was like, okay, we've done the right thing

This is a pretty special place. You know, it's, I know they were all, some nights they were just, you know

the weird thing about what you were going through is no one could really see anybody during all of this

But people found a way with masks. They would pull up to your driveway and start serenading you

You know, I just thought I could just, I could picture everything that was going on with reading this

It just seems like such a fantastic place, this magical place to live

And your neighbors just helped soothe your soul at night when you were like at your lowest

Oh, every time I was at my lowest, without a doubt, I would get a text message, go outside, open your gates, and a truck would drive by with Twinkle Light singing Nick's song or another song or flowers or, like I said, cookies or vegan muffins

The support was incredible. I want to talk about how you were able to turn your grieving into a positive because I'm like you

My class is always half full. It's always been half full. I know that's when I first met you a long time ago

You're a hard person. You're an open person. I know you always look for the positive in everything

But this was a really, really big deal. How were you able to turn your grieving into a positive

oh gosh you know um i think the biggest the biggest reason i can is because i know nick

would want me to yeah i mean that's that's the simplest reason if i think about what he could

have said to me that last day in those last minutes he would have said to me don't you dare

not live your life don't you dare not succeed don't you dare thrive i want you to be the best

mom you can possibly be to that little boy. I want you to live and love and be joyous because

that's who you are. I would have said the same thing to him. So on those darkest days, and trust

me, I still get them. That's what's in the back of my mind. I think about Nick and I think about

am I serving him? Am I paying tribute to his life by being miserable? No

beautifully put you know you're going back to like you know the audition rejection audition

a show audition rejection that's what you know so many people weren't allowed to see a loved one

in the hospital at all you persevered I love those chapters are like that's why I couldn't put the

book down it was like a cliffhanger I was like I'm not putting this book down I have to find out you

know when she got in there and everything else and that helped you a lot like just going through the

day to day of tending for Nick and making sure he was taken care of and finding out all the stuff

It's like you like a doctor was like the director. This person was a stage manager. I mean, I just

loved your mindset. And I'm sure that sort of eased your way through this, did it

Yeah. I mean, I think I was doing it unknowingly just because that's sort of how I've trained now

No, it's what you know. You know, but in writing the book, I said this to Anna one day. I was like, you know what, Annie

I was like, I think I don't take no for an answer or that or like I know eventually no will be a yes

So I'm not afraid to say to the doctors, I know you're going to tell me no, but I'm still going to ask today

Can I go see Nick? And they would go, no. And I go, OK, I'm going to ask tomorrow

And, you know, it was it was like a joke, you know, after a while. And and then one day it was a yes. But like that, I think that's just my life

That's been my life. And, you know, it's funny because Nick necessarily isn't the same

I said this to Anna, too. I was like, I wonder if it was me in the ICU. Nick would be told you're not allowed to visit

And he's such a rule follower sometimes that he would have been like, oh, yes, no, they said no visitors

And I'm the exact opposite. I'm like, no visitors means I'm getting in there

But you were the perfect yig and yang. That's what I loved about your relationship

You were one way and Nick was the other way. And that's why you worked so well together with all of this

He had an incredible team of doctors and nurses that tended to him

Would you just give a big shout out to the team? Could you talk so highly about them in this book

Yes. Oh, my gosh. Well, first of all, the nurses. I know

I never left the hospital without looking them in the eye and saying, thank you

Thank you. Thank you. I see it. You never sit down. You never stop working

You know how to do everything. And you do it like it is second nature

And it's amazing to watch. And thank you for keeping my husband alive

I think I said that maybe five times a day. And they're all so kind

And I loved getting to know them, you know, they do three day shifts and then they take

like four days off. So you're constantly rotating through nurses. But it was really nice to get to know them

And then, you know, my my positive doctor, Dr. Ring, I don't know if I I know for sure I wouldn't have been able to get through that

without him because he was like, well, he said it to me

I tell the story in the book, you know, he's like, I've talked to you more than I've talked to my wife in the last three months

we were like war generals together and we really did feel like we were fighting a battle and I know

he cared for Nick and for me and Elvis and and he was just kind of like that pillar of strength

he was the director he was he was there because I have to give another shout out to your nurses

because you have taught your AK body class live donating all of the proceeds to Cedar Sinai

COVID-19 nurses relief in Nick's name. I mean, well, you know, you can't, when you, when you

witness what they do, honestly, you feel like, well, what could I possibly even do to thank them

So, um, that, that, that's my pleasure. And yeah, one, one of the classes we have over 500 people

join, um, which was just, I mean, like it just gave me chills. It was so exciting

Cause my sister's a nurse. She works in a nursing home. She runs a whole unit. And during COVID

but I would talk to her a lot. And she was like, I come home. I take my clothes off in the garage

I go right into the shower. I scrub myself down. I'm terrified I'm going to get this or whatever

but this is what I do. And I'm sure your nurses were all the same

They had to perform their nursery duties in a war zone, like you said

with all these other issues on top of that, but they would just do what they do every day

Oh, yeah. And the days that I did have to get into PPE, which was just in the beginning

while Nick, we were waiting for his third positive or sorry, negative COVID test

I was still in PPE. And so even just doing that for like, I think twice, I did it maybe twice

I was like, oh my gosh, you guys have been doing this day in and day out, 12 hour shifts

in and out of this full outfit, which feels like a space suit

Once you have it on, it takes about 10 minutes to get it on and no complaints, no eye rolls

It's just like it was what they did. And amazing. Just blown away

Yeah. Just beautiful. I just think of what my sister went through. And I can only imagine in an ICU what your nurses were going through with Nick

You know, your son Elvis just turned two, right? Yes. You know, what do you tell him about his father and how do you keep Nick's memory alive to Elvis

We talk about Nick every day. We play Nick's music every day, especially in the car

because Elvis, if he's getting finicky, if I put Nick on, especially one of the great ones from A Bronx Tale

he immediately gets silent. When Live Your Life comes on, he starts nodding his head

and doing this rocker face. And we kiss Dada goodnight every night

We say good morning every morning. I tell him that he's going to visit him in his dreams

We just make Nick a part of our day We really do And I truly believe that he there I really do think that Nick is just kind of always with us and around us and um that

Elvis sees them. So I, you know, I, I'm excited though, to be honest, I'm excited for as Elvis gets older

and to be able to show him, you know, gosh, it's so lucky to have all of these videos

and recordings. You know, if Nick was an insurance salesman, you would not have this kind of material to show somebody that's lost their father

And Elvis is going to grow up and he's going to get to see how Nick talked and walked and danced and sung

And it's beautiful. See, I totally forgot that aspect of it because I was going to ask you, did you write the book also for Elvis to read in a certain amount of years

Because the way you tell this story, it's so beautiful that he'll be able to see that, too

But, you know, you forget about all the press reels from all the Broadway shows and all the videos he's done, all the benefits he's done

He'll be able to see his father, you know, who he was. Oh, it's it's amazing. It really is amazing

I mean, yeah. And yes, I did write the book so that Elvis would have this story for sure

Because, like I said, you get my memory. My memory will go. I'll forget the details, but not now because they're written down

Yeah, beautiful. Has getting back into a routine helped you move on and move forward

Oh, yes. I am so type A. I love routine. I pre-make my coffee at night so that, you know, everything just goes according to the routine

And, you know, I have five jobs still, so I need a routine. I have to kind of compartmentalize my life

But yes, especially having this job at the talk to come to every day

You know, it feels like I'm on a daytime Broadway show. I get to come to my dressing room, get my hair and makeup done, put my costume on, go do my live show, and then, you know, go home to Elvis

So I love it. I love having this routine. But you're also doing your classes too, right

They become very popular. Aw, thank you. Hey, dance classes. I mean, how do people find them if they want to join your classes and everything else

Well, if you follow Amanda Clutes Fitness on Instagram, I always post when I'm teaching

I teach out of Zoom, but out of Studio B at Bandeer

And I always post about it, of course, on my Instagram stories, too

I teach every Saturday morning, usually at 9 a.m. PST. And once a month, always do a charity class to give to charity

So please join because it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of motivation

I promise you'll leave with a smile. That got you through a lot of this, too, of using that energy or channeling all of that, didn't it

Oh, yes. 100%. What did it release in you? Like, what did that do for you

Well, you know, fitness for me has always been such a saver for stress and anxiety

You know, when you feel all like, you know, when I'm stressed out, it's like a fire, you know, a ball of like, and you can't, your brain is just crazy

And so I would say to my brother and sister, I need at least 10 minutes, but a lot of times it's more than that

And I would say, I'm just going to go outside. I'm going to work out. And I would blast music that would make me happy

Sometimes it was Nick, sometimes it was, you know, whatever. And I would grab my jump rope and I would just work out

And that energy release and that clarity in my brain and getting the endorphins running and getting oxygen flowing

it is my number one mental health saver. That's beautiful. You know, tell me about some of the messages that you've been receiving

from your followers and friends who have read the book. Oh gosh Richard it has been so incredible But honestly the biggest one is I thought I knew this story And wow I did not And thank you for writing this because now I know what you dealt with what was happening and the honest truth And that was that like the biggest compliment because that what we were really you know that was one of the things we were going for

You know, because there are so many people, like I said, who went through this that didn't get to see their loved ones who passed away from coronavirus or didn't know how to process those emotions afterwards

And I just love that, you know, your book is also so much about healing also and how you turn, you know, you know, a grief into a positive or how you move through this because you can either willow away and sit in bed for the rest of your life or move forward

And I'm sure it's very hard to do, but you've shown a lot of people how to do that

And you've also put a face on what people have gone through during this time period

I'd love for you to mention there were so many people who don't believe in the vaccine

There are many people who think that, you know, coronavirus was a hoax. And I was just wondering with everything you've gone through, what you say to those people

Well, I mean, you know, I'm living proof that it's not, you know

you know, try to look me in the eyes and tell me that this didn't happen, that this didn't exist

that it didn't affect young people. I'll say, please join me on my 95 day battle in the hospital

with my husband. You don't want this virus. You don't even want to get it and recover from it

because, you know, I have friends that still can't really taste and still can't, you know

like their, their, their breathing or something is still off. So, you know, listen to each his own

but if you're, if you're able to get the vaccination, if you're able and you're, and you're

healthy and you know, and you're not doing it, I really just, I question a huge why, because you're

not only protecting yourself, you're protecting others and you're help moving this whole world

and country forward. How much fun is it being a part of the talk? It's a blast. Oh my gosh. I love

it. I feel so grateful because, you know, at home, you know, Elvis and I kind of lead a quiet life

especially with, you know, as a, with a toddler, you kind of lead a quiet life

So I get to talk to adults every day. I get to go and, and I love studio lots, first of all. I mean

anytime I used to get to be on a studio a lot, I love it. And so just to, to come here every day

have, you know, incredible people to talk to, have great conversations and have kind of, you know

this other life after my Broadway life. It's so exciting. I feel so lucky. I really do

Now, didn't one of your friends, Jennifer Love Hewitt, read the book? Did she have a dream

Yes. Oh, my gosh. This dream, the crazy dream. Well, Jennifer Love Hewitt, you know, reached out

to me in the early days with Nick and has been a friend and like just a blessing since then

So she read the book because I asked her to do a quote for the back of the book, which she did

And she called me one day. She's like, Amanda, I have to tell you this dream. I had this dream that Nick came to me

He asked me to go on a walk through Laurel Canyon. And he told me that reading this book, watching you, sitting beside you while writing it, finally gave him closure

That he knows his story now and that he is at peace now because he understands everything that happened to him

and I had never thought of that that way and I immediately called Anna and I

told her I chose now even just saying it and we both started crying because we

were like we never wrote the book thinking that but of course it gave him closure because if you see in the book anytime a doctor walked into that room I made us leave

All important conversations about his health and what was happening were outside of that

hospital room. I did not want Nick to know any negative news

And then I would come in and I'd give my positive spin and I would tell him, you know, what's

going to happen, but in the most positive light. And so he didn't know

He didn't know what was going on. And now he knows. Yeah

I want to give a big shout out to a lot of your friends, especially Zach Braff

who we all fell in love with too in Bullets Over Broadway. I mean, you have such an incredible support team out there

and they were there with you from the very first day. So I just wanted to give a big shout out. I feel like, you know, I knew Zach from the show

but, you know, people are so generous with their hearts and everything else of, you know

Not only Zach, I mean, the cast of A Bronx Tale, the cast of Waitress, the cast of Jersey Boys, the cast of Good Vibrations

My first Broadway show back in 2003, just running to help. You can't hold an artist down

Like, you just can't. Like, they'll sit for a week in their house and then they're like, okay, what are we singing

How are we helping? What are we creating? like in it just was this outpour of love from you know all of these people that mean the world to you

and it was just incredible it would have you know if Nick could have fully woken up and said

how it meant what it meant to him we would still be hearing about it because he would never have

been able to get over it yeah well when you first held the hard copy book in your hands do you

remember how you felt? It was surreal. It's so surreal because, you know, we took that photo

March 1st. We were both perfectly healthy. And we weren't even going to take the photo. It was a

rainy day. It was a friend that was in town. And I said, I didn't even tell Nick about it because

I didn't want him to get annoyed. So I was like, oh, just get a denim shirt on. Let's go take a

photo. And thank God we did. So seeing that photo and holding that book and seeing my name and

Anna's name on it and the pictures inside. It was extremely surreal. It's still surreal

to be honest, especially going into bookstores and signing copies. It's very surreal

Well, like I said, it is an incredible book. It's an incredible story and journey you take

the reader on. It's available on HarperCollins. And the audiobook's available too, right

Oh, audiobook and Barnes and Noble's Target, Amazon, everywhere. It's such a beautiful, it's such a beautiful story

Amanda, like I said, I fell in love with you and Nick a long, long time ago

And reading the book, I remember I spent a lot of time during Nick doing interviews

because each season there was someone I would like root for in a show

like to get major recognition from like the award ceremonies. And I was like, I'm going to push

And Nick was, when I first met Nick, I was like, this is my journey this year

He loved you. I will tell you that. He really did. every time you interviewed him

You always walk away and go, I just love that guy. I love that guy. And we spent many nights at opening nights

having drinks at Bryant Park. He had a wicked sense of humor

which I still would listen to when I read the book. I could just hear him

He lives in my heart as he does in yours. Amanda, thank you so much. I can't wait for you to be in New York

hopefully on a carpet or something else that we can meet up. I know

I want to get back for the opening night of Broadway. I hope to be there

Get me tickets. Totally. you've got a gorgeous son thank you for everything everybody thank you for joining us take care

everybody and please stay safe take